(no subject)

[jemz]

i'm back...sort of.



i've been dealing with a few things that have just been draining all my energy. i'm all mixed up and am on the depressed side. too many bad things this month.

another funeral to go to on friday. my idiot of a big bro told me about it last night during a wedding reception. i don't remember how i felt last night but i know the last few weeks have been more stressful than ever.

i've been forcing myself to eat regular meals (yes, Teej, i know. i am eating! i promise!) and have been trying to find ways to distract myself from thinking. unfortunately, i can't stop mulling over things and it's been a bit hard. My natural optimism isn't pulling me back up as quickly as i would like but i think i'm just being selfish and too wrapped up in my head to look for the happier things in life.

but today makes me more content than i have been in a while. sitting here with my almost-4yr old godson and getting sloppy hugs and kisses on a beautiful sunday afternoon, everything in sharp colors and the knot in my chest loosening up a tiny bit.

i can almost forget the stench of death and drama clinging to my skin.

Comments

[sakon76.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*snuggles*

[pixeled.livejournal.com]

:O who died, if you don't mind me asking?

Hang in there <3

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

My dance instructor.

My big bro and I were planning on going to visit him this week too. :/

<3

[pixeled.livejournal.com]

Did you know them well? I'm still trying to get over my father's death and I don't think I ever really well. :/ Death is a hard thing to bounce back from.

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

He was my dance instructor for more than 5 years. Learned most of the basics with him and then took over his class when he opened up his own dance studio.

It was just a shock because I went to a funeral on Saturday and dealt with drama from another death I thought was long over. Esp. since I thought 2 years was more than enough time to drop the drama.

Grief is never easy.

[sandpanther.livejournal.com]

*hugs* If/whenever you are up for it, I will happily try distracting you from thinking too much by showing you pretty bois.

*distraction* I'm guessing you've already heard about the Japanese live action HanaKimi (http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Hanazakari_no_Kimitachi_e)... It has Oguri Shun in it! And he'll be voice acting in Wangan Midnight (car racing in Tokyo series) starting in a week. Not quite as pretty, but out sooner!

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

Pretty boys are more than welcomed.

Yes! I know! My flist was totally squealing over it! It will be totally exciting!

[bluntedge.livejournal.com]

♥

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

♥!!!

yay!

[simplyjenn.livejournal.com]

Hey hun, I shouldve asked way sooner but can you email me your mailing info to simplyjenn@gmail.com please!!! wedding invites are going out this week!