jemz

Sooooo, I was skimming the flist (as always) and saw a post by

emmagrant01 on weight and why people always comment on weight and never on achievements when bumping/dining with aquaintances/business associates/etc.

Do you put that much emphasis on weight loss/gain when you see someone? I know I do. I am totally guilty of the fact. Because I know I have major issues with my own weight. I'll mention it, in some shape or form. But lately, I'll talk of how good someone looks. Even if they gain weight. Because I would prefer complimenting someone on looking healthy and happy rather on weight.

But I cannot deny that a majority of my feelings of inadequacy is my weight. It's something that I have total control over and being told everyday that I'm fat doesn't really boost my confidence. But I've learned to grow a thicker skin to it and take charge of my own problems, including my weight. I've taken steps to ensure that I'm healthy despite the fact that I will weigh more than what is aesthetically pleasing and accepted (i.e. skinny, skinny, SKINNY!). I workout three times a week at the minimum. I stretch and meditate. I'm active. I'm doing my best to be happy with the choices I've made in my life, to be who I am and be accepted for who I am. I want to be that someone whom I see is totally happy with herself, her exterior and interior. I want to be able to say that I am that person.

I don't want to be surrounded by people who will just bring me down to that ugly place where I wasn't happy with myself. I don't want someone to tell me that I should get married, pop out babies, and settle in a suburbian life. Because I don't want that. I want so much more. I want to experience culture and history. I want to learn something new. But sometimes I get caught up in that "image" whirlwind and start to want material things (pffft. I love shopping regardless so I think I always material things) so I can show off. So many times, society's perception of beauty is skewed and causes so many girls and guys to be completely unhappy with themselves. They turn to other things to be cool and/or accepted.

I also think that it depends on which society is driving home that perception. For those who don't know, I'm asian. Vietnamese-American, to be exact. But I'm not the typical Vietnamese-American. I don't fit that damn stereotype that we're all short, skinny, and eat dogs. Quite patently untrue. I'm taller (than my mom!), curvy, and I eat raw fish, thank you very much. :-P Mmmmmmm...sushi. But back to my point. My parents, who are fairly open-minded for conservative Vietnamese parents, love me to pieces and think that pointing out what they think/know are my flaws will help me improve myself. And point them out every day. Which drives me nuts. Because being told you're fat compared to your cousins, younger sister, younger brother, etc nearly drove me to a Very Bad Place. But then I managed to get away from the hot, bitter sting of parental disappointment and realized that I am who I am. I can either change for the better or for the worse. It took me forever (and still even now!) to really like me for myself and not to place that much importance on what they or anyone else say. Because if someone who was not a close friend or a family member told me I was fat, ugly, or stupid, I wouldn't place much weight on the comment. It's like "water off a duck's back". Life is seriously too short and too precious to be caught up in something so insignificant. There is so much to learn and experience to cry over a comment a near-stranger made.

I looked in the mirror this morning and liked myself a bit more.

So Click here to be flattered. Ganked this from

natsu6uy. Thanks for the smile, dood.

P.S. I learned how to knit! XD As if I need more crafts and hobbies! I'm so bad. I've been reading up on how to make tsumomi-kanzashi. Tonight, I will start preparations to decoupage the album the other bridesmaids and I are creating for the lovely bride. Any tips?

P.P.S. SNOW PATROL IS COMING!!!!! *_* MUST GET TICKETS. Six, Uyennie, Trammie, Ant, Hien, wannnnna goooooooo!?!?!??!?