Weight and Images in Society
Apr. 5th, 2006 11:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jemzSooooo, I was skimming the flist (as always) and saw a post by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
emmagrant01 on weight and why people always comment on weight and never on achievements when bumping/dining with aquaintances/business associates/etc.
Do you put that much emphasis on weight loss/gain when you see someone? I know I do. I am totally guilty of the fact. Because I know I have major issues with my own weight. I'll mention it, in some shape or form. But lately, I'll talk of how good someone looks. Even if they gain weight. Because I would prefer complimenting someone on looking healthy and happy rather on weight.
But I cannot deny that a majority of my feelings of inadequacy is my weight. It's something that I have total control over and being told everyday that I'm fat doesn't really boost my confidence. But I've learned to grow a thicker skin to it and take charge of my own problems, including my weight. I've taken steps to ensure that I'm healthy despite the fact that I will weigh more than what is aesthetically pleasing and accepted (i.e. skinny, skinny, SKINNY!). I workout three times a week at the minimum. I stretch and meditate. I'm active. I'm doing my best to be happy with the choices I've made in my life, to be who I am and be accepted for who I am. I want to be that someone whom I see is totally happy with herself, her exterior and interior. I want to be able to say that I am that person.
I don't want to be surrounded by people who will just bring me down to that ugly place where I wasn't happy with myself. I don't want someone to tell me that I should get married, pop out babies, and settle in a suburbian life. Because I don't want that. I want so much more. I want to experience culture and history. I want to learn something new. But sometimes I get caught up in that "image" whirlwind and start to want material things (pffft. I love shopping regardless so I think I always material things) so I can show off. So many times, society's perception of beauty is skewed and causes so many girls and guys to be completely unhappy with themselves. They turn to other things to be cool and/or accepted.
I also think that it depends on which society is driving home that perception. For those who don't know, I'm asian. Vietnamese-American, to be exact. But I'm not the typical Vietnamese-American. I don't fit that damn stereotype that we're all short, skinny, and eat dogs. Quite patently untrue. I'm taller (than my mom!), curvy, and I eat raw fish, thank you very much. :-P Mmmmmmm...sushi. But back to my point. My parents, who are fairly open-minded for conservative Vietnamese parents, love me to pieces and think that pointing out what they think/know are my flaws will help me improve myself. And point them out every day. Which drives me nuts. Because being told you're fat compared to your cousins, younger sister, younger brother, etc nearly drove me to a Very Bad Place. But then I managed to get away from the hot, bitter sting of parental disappointment and realized that I am who I am. I can either change for the better or for the worse. It took me forever (and still even now!) to really like me for myself and not to place that much importance on what they or anyone else say. Because if someone who was not a close friend or a family member told me I was fat, ugly, or stupid, I wouldn't place much weight on the comment. It's like "water off a duck's back". Life is seriously too short and too precious to be caught up in something so insignificant. There is so much to learn and experience to cry over a comment a near-stranger made.
I looked in the mirror this morning and liked myself a bit more.
So Click here to be flattered. Ganked this fromnatsu6uy. Thanks for the smile, dood.
P.S. I learned how to knit! XD As if I need more crafts and hobbies! I'm so bad. I've been reading up on how to make tsumomi-kanzashi. Tonight, I will start preparations to decoupage the album the other bridesmaids and I are creating for the lovely bride. Any tips?
P.P.S. SNOW PATROL IS COMING!!!!! *_* MUST GET TICKETS. Six, Uyennie, Trammie, Ant, Hien, wannnnna goooooooo!?!?!??!?
emmagrant01 on weight and why people always comment on weight and never on achievements when bumping/dining with aquaintances/business associates/etc. Do you put that much emphasis on weight loss/gain when you see someone? I know I do. I am totally guilty of the fact. Because I know I have major issues with my own weight. I'll mention it, in some shape or form. But lately, I'll talk of how good someone looks. Even if they gain weight. Because I would prefer complimenting someone on looking healthy and happy rather on weight.
But I cannot deny that a majority of my feelings of inadequacy is my weight. It's something that I have total control over and being told everyday that I'm fat doesn't really boost my confidence. But I've learned to grow a thicker skin to it and take charge of my own problems, including my weight. I've taken steps to ensure that I'm healthy despite the fact that I will weigh more than what is aesthetically pleasing and accepted (i.e. skinny, skinny, SKINNY!). I workout three times a week at the minimum. I stretch and meditate. I'm active. I'm doing my best to be happy with the choices I've made in my life, to be who I am and be accepted for who I am. I want to be that someone whom I see is totally happy with herself, her exterior and interior. I want to be able to say that I am that person.
I don't want to be surrounded by people who will just bring me down to that ugly place where I wasn't happy with myself. I don't want someone to tell me that I should get married, pop out babies, and settle in a suburbian life. Because I don't want that. I want so much more. I want to experience culture and history. I want to learn something new. But sometimes I get caught up in that "image" whirlwind and start to want material things (pffft. I love shopping regardless so I think I always material things) so I can show off. So many times, society's perception of beauty is skewed and causes so many girls and guys to be completely unhappy with themselves. They turn to other things to be cool and/or accepted.
I also think that it depends on which society is driving home that perception. For those who don't know, I'm asian. Vietnamese-American, to be exact. But I'm not the typical Vietnamese-American. I don't fit that damn stereotype that we're all short, skinny, and eat dogs. Quite patently untrue. I'm taller (than my mom!), curvy, and I eat raw fish, thank you very much. :-P Mmmmmmm...sushi. But back to my point. My parents, who are fairly open-minded for conservative Vietnamese parents, love me to pieces and think that pointing out what they think/know are my flaws will help me improve myself. And point them out every day. Which drives me nuts. Because being told you're fat compared to your cousins, younger sister, younger brother, etc nearly drove me to a Very Bad Place. But then I managed to get away from the hot, bitter sting of parental disappointment and realized that I am who I am. I can either change for the better or for the worse. It took me forever (and still even now!) to really like me for myself and not to place that much importance on what they or anyone else say. Because if someone who was not a close friend or a family member told me I was fat, ugly, or stupid, I wouldn't place much weight on the comment. It's like "water off a duck's back". Life is seriously too short and too precious to be caught up in something so insignificant. There is so much to learn and experience to cry over a comment a near-stranger made.
I looked in the mirror this morning and liked myself a bit more.
So Click here to be flattered. Ganked this from
natsu6uy. Thanks for the smile, dood.P.S. I learned how to knit! XD As if I need more crafts and hobbies! I'm so bad. I've been reading up on how to make tsumomi-kanzashi. Tonight, I will start preparations to decoupage the album the other bridesmaids and I are creating for the lovely bride. Any tips?
P.P.S. SNOW PATROL IS COMING!!!!! *_* MUST GET TICKETS. Six, Uyennie, Trammie, Ant, Hien, wannnnna goooooooo!?!?!??!?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-04-05 06:58 pm (UTC)I am a big girl. Have always been overweight and will remain so.
That is mostly the reason I am not comfortable in discos, clubs etc. Partly because during my childhood kids were always very eager to point out that I was fat, refer to me as the fat one etc., and of course, telling me I should eat so much so that I wouldn't get so fat. Now, I don't eat a whole lot - constantly surprising people when I do eat at their place.
I've resigned myself to that fact now - but I'm 30.
And still, this feeling gets me and makes me think that "if only I lost ....pounds" I'd feel better about myself and not so awkward. I could buy the clothes I like and not look like a badly wrapped sausage in them.
Of course it doesn't help that I'm not a spontaneous person when you first meet me. That takes a while.
*stops before she does start crying*
no subject
Date: 2006-04-05 07:58 pm (UTC)You are a beautiful person! We've barely known each other for a short amount of time and I think you're a wonderful person.
Honestly, that first step to working out is the hardest one for me. Taking that measure to just reach out and do the best I can despite my HUGE fear of rejection and failure. Man, I'm Asian and I've lived with fears of rejection and failure my entire life if I don't live up to parental standards so taking that first step....I celebrated with a small hair stick. It's hard but totally do-able!
And my parents tell me all the time not to eat so much. So I never eat that much in front of them. But I also learned to eat more smaller meals, spaced every 3-4 hours. It helps.
*cuddles* Try some fun activities. I do some ballroom dancing and that helped me get my stamina up. XD I wanna do belly dancing or hula. That looks like fun!
no subject
Date: 2006-04-05 08:09 pm (UTC)*blushes* Thank you
Well, on the upside, my parents are unbelievably supportive of me, always have been.
And I hear you on the rejection front. *nods*
I was supposed to have started ball room dancing in February or so, but when I saw the idiot schedule I'm on, I decided not to. I have a history with being overly tired and I didn't want to risk it this year (long story short: I'm on my last year and last chance of being able to get my master's degree before the validity of my marks runs out). So have decided to it in September, as well as start learning Spanish. Because I'll have time then and will be rid of the pressure of passing my classes. Hopefully that'll get me going.
Plus. Have ordered a lateral stepper :D Am curious to see how that'll work out. Taking care of feeling uncomfortable in groups of people I do not know and always expecting to be labeled "the fat girl" - that'll take time...
*huggles YOU tight*
♥
no subject
Date: 2006-04-05 08:18 pm (UTC)*nods* Do what you can. I find when I get sleepy after lunch is to take a quick walk around the office building or around the block. Gets the blood pumping and clears my mind. That way, I get some sunshine, some exercise, and some time to just enjoy life.
Wowie! *cheers you on* You can dooooo eeeeet!!!! It's all a matter of mustering enough courage to take that first step! *\o/*
I know all about being the "fat girl" in my gym classes. I'm usually one of the fatter ones but it's a matter of focusing that we're all there to work out and to focus on improving myself and not comparing myself to those skinny girls.
heheh...my friend is loaning me Carmen Electra's Striptease workout dvds which I will try at home. >.> Oh wait. Did I just admit that outloud. XD
no subject
Date: 2006-04-05 08:22 pm (UTC)By the end of the year there'll be - no doubt - a very lenghthy praising teh
parents post. At least, I'm planning one. What they have done for me - no words....
Yeah - we'll have to see how it goes. Luckily I've taken a week off from work about two weeks after last exam, so that I can have a week of total relaxation before I start on the thesis. Soooo looking forward to it. Am thinking of bringing my hiking boots, my iPod and going for a long walk :D Or not...
heheh...my friend is loaning me Carmen Electra's Striptease workout dvds which I will try at home. >.> Oh wait. Did I just admit that outloud. XD
*conspiratory look*
It'll just be our little secret *nods*