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Sometimes, when my emotions start swinging wildly from one spectrum to another, I feel so out of control. Helpless against the crazy bullshit that spills into my mind, beating down hard-won self-confidence, self-respect, self-worth, I just feel for hours, over-analyzing and then analyzing why I over-analyze, until I run into something that pulls me up short and say, "O HAY, JEMZ. SHUT UP AND BE HAPPY."
I was like that for a bit yesterday, babbling on and on to a few people who are utter saints and dealt with me very gently. Except for wifey. Who bopped me on the head and ignored my pouts.
Then, at the ballet
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I felt all cultured, going to a ballet instead of just staying home and watching dramas on my laptop. It made me think about my life and how I shouldn't think I'm selfish when I want to experience so many things before I die. The thoughts and feelings of never being good enough comes and goes periodically and every time, I remind myself that I am very blessed, with friends and family who care about me and all the charities and events I plan for people to enjoy.
Things like that should mean more than those pesky feelings of inadequacy.
I'm seeing the girls tonight for some sushi and karaoke. I also hope my ltd ed. Kanjani8 dvd and w-inds. Journey concert dvd arrives today. Otherwise, I have to go to the Post Office to pick it up.
Dept potluck has me stuffed! After not eating much for the last four days, I am stuffed on yummy, yummy food. And clementines. ♥
Also, Happy Birthday to all the Nov/Dec. babies! Happy Birthday,
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Date: 2007-12-19 10:38 pm (UTC)I <3 clementines. the fruit AND the character :>
<3 *wishes she lived somewhere that had a decent sushi place or a karaoke place*
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Date: 2007-12-19 11:09 pm (UTC)Bouncing back is a bit hard sometimes but honestly, when I look at how many things I'm thankful to have that day, it puts things into perspective for me.
♥ You're a sweetheart for willingly reading all my whining and a beautiful person inside and out.
Yes! So yummy these clementines.
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Date: 2007-12-19 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-20 12:52 am (UTC)The ballet sounds very pretty!
Sushi and clementines :9
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Date: 2007-12-20 01:25 am (UTC)i feel cultured when i do things like that too.