(no subject)

stole this from dropsofme...:-D

LJ Barcode LJ username:

waiting.....

well...the family is still waiting for the results of all the tests and stuff my dad had to go through this week. Hopefully, it'll be all good news and nothing too serious. My dad has been pretty laid back about it....but i know it's just a facade. I know he's concerned and he's thinking about the future...but more in a negative way. He's been thinking what if he wasn't there anymore and who would take care of my mom and my sister. He knows that my brother and i have jobs and could support ourselves. I don't want either of my parents to think things that way...but maybe it's a justified action. We need to plan for emergencies even though it's unpleasant. I think we should plan things out so we know that we are all taken care of when the time comes.

i shudder to think what i would do if i should ever lose both parents in an accident. in fact, i've dreamt about it and it scares the pants off me. I'm the oldest of my sibs and i feel a tremendous amount of responsibility to my family. I don't know what i would do if they were sick and or went through a serious accident. I would probably have to deal with it. Life is pretty important and it just made itself clear that it's a precious gift.

my dad and i were talking earlier in the week about taking care of ourselves, health-wise. he told me to take better care of myself. I've been trying....to eat better, exercise more, enjoy life more. He keeps telling me to quit eating sweets..but i have already cut down a lot last year....for some reason, my parents think i gobble all the cookies and cheesecake i bake when i usually give them all away to my cousin or friends. ah well...

two weeks ago, ruben studdard was named the new american idol....i've been wondering about who is ur personal idol. for me, it's always been my dad. he's been a pillar of strength in my life. he's the one who always tell me i can do things if i work hard enough and if i dream high enough. he's the one who helps me with my math homework. he's the one that gives me money :-D heheh...and the one who'll teach me how to dance the rumba. my parents have always sacrificed so much to make my life and the lives of my siblings better. it humbles me to think of all he and my mom have overcome for me to be sitting here, spoiled and loved. i don't think i could have the spiritual strength to come to a new country with only $5 in their pockets and not know how to speak the language or know the customs. I admire him and he's always been my idol.

now my idol is sick. and that shakes me....to know that he's human and life is frail. as a kid, i've always thought my parents were invincible, totally superhuman. as i got older, it's always been on the fringe of my mind that they were getting older and at times, weaker. my biology classes told me about the inevitable changes of old age. yet, i denied to myself that old age is going to happen to my parents. now, with my dad being sick, i'm forced to deal with reality and the reality of the possibility of him not being in my life anymore. and it staggers me. it depresses me. i'm still trying to deal with it and remain positive. it's hard but i don't know what else to do but hope. i wish i could make it all go away but all i can do is pray to the Lord for the strength to support my family if anything bad does happen.

and i also pray for the strength to keep myself positive.

(no subject)

got this from ante

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mule/smurfgen.html

apparently, i'm "Cuddly Smurf". :-D the second time, i tried with my real name and i got "Super Absorbant Smurf". I think i like the first one better. :D