RANT!!!

[jemz]

Oh MY GOD. I am FURIOUS.

What sort of moronic FATHER blames his daughter's suicide on the friends who tried to help her? What fucking right does he have to tell us that we did nothing to help her out of her situation when throughout that entire fucking horrific time, he's done nothing but turn his fucking back on her?

I am shaking so hard with fury and utter sadness. I miss her greatly. Not as much as her parents are but shit, I did everything I could. I don't want to hear the blame being placed on my shoulders for not helping her out, for being with her when she met the destructive ass that ruined her life, for not convincing her close-minded, judgemental ASS of a father for opening his mind and heart and accepting the fact that she needs the unconditional love of her parents to help her through this horrible experience and not constantly put her down.


dammit.


I...I've been at a loss of words all morning long. I'm so damned drained. I've had vile vituperation heaped on my head for hours on end, been at the end of harsh, condenscending looks while I continue to organize and make sure the function went smoothly until I could take it no longer.

Well....let me say something to get off my chest because I simply can't stand it any longer. To the incredibly close-minded, harsh father who's been lashing at me like I'm his personal scapegoat: FUCK OFF. It's not my fault that you did not take the time to know your daughter nor the fact that you FAILED as a father in providing the emotional support she needed. It is not my fault that I tried my damnedest to be there for her. It is not my fault that she dated that asshat of an abusive fucker. It is my fault for helping her get away from him and for that I will always be proud of the fact that I was there for her when she needed it. It is NOT my fault that she felt she could no longer live in this world and chose to end her life. That was her decision alone and nothing I could say or do could have stayed her hand in pulling that damn trigger. I hated the fact she had a gun and told her so many, many times.

So please get off your grief and realize that other people cared about her. I refuse to be your scapegoat any longer.

Comments

[dramaphile.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*clings*

[divinereverie.livejournal.com]

*loves madly* He needs to get therapy, but I know he probably won't. :\

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

he won't. he's too stubborn and too old-fashioned to change and accept things.

*loves*

[tipgardner.livejournal.com]

I have rarely heard a more well, though sadly and painfully, earned rant. I'm sorry, Luv. Let me know if I can do anything to help, yeah? -hugs-

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

It was brewing in me for quite some time....I just got so sick of it and it all came pouring out.

[cmere.livejournal.com]

God, honey. That is sick. *hugs tight*

Let me know if you need to chat or anything. ♥

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*huggles* I will...thank you, darling.

[allara.livejournal.com]

FUCK that ass (okay, maybe don't fuck. Try torturing. For days. That'd be more fun than screwing his uptight, disgusting, and really really stupid arse that really needs to be ridiculed), and *huggle you*, dammit!

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*huggles back*

[allara.livejournal.com]

*cuddles* you are my sweet sweet jemz, and that man is just not worth it.

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. That is truly awful of him. Part of me wants to say he's acting out of grief but that's no excuse for treating you this way. That's just wrong.

*loves on Jemz*

I'm sorry sweetie - you are brave and strong and wonderful.

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

I understand that grief is driving him to do that but he doesn't realize that the rest of us are grieving as well and we're not lashing at him.

*loves back*

[dropsofme.livejournal.com]

Oh my god... honey. I can't imagine what he's going through right now, but it's clear he should be getting professional help. He has no right to blame you for any of this, and I'm glad you know it's not your fault! Of course it's not your fault, its not really anyones fault, this is something she did.
It's more than enough for you to have to go through losing your friend, I'm sorry he's doing this to you too.
*huggles*

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*huggles tight*

Thanks, honey. I just want to scream at him so much and I can't....=-( I just sit there and take it because I know he needs to get it all out.

I can't imagine the pain of outliving your child.

[simplyjenn.livejournal.com]

Awww sweetie I am so sorry and I can completly see why you are so angry. People only want to point fingers and can never except that they were the ones to be blamed. Parents abuse over a long time is unbearable why are parents so harsh and so critical of everything? Nothing ever satisfies them. And it is NOT your fault in any way people make their choices for their reasons. You're an awesome person :)

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*HUGGLES* Asian parents can be so unreasonable in only way asian parents can (esp. knowing the way they were brought up and the way we grew up).

[schmoo999.livejournal.com]

OH darling....it is so hard..and I can't imagine. I do think though that her parents can't deal with their own guilt that they let her down and her dad is going to find someone anyone to blame.

**Hugs**
He has a long tough road ahead of him..he better get real to the situation or else it is all going to fall aprt around him.

You keep your chin up. You did your best sweets.
♥

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

I know he needs help, lots of it, but I don't think it's right to lash out at everyone who've helped her in life.

and I esp. disagree with the things he says about me because he never took the time to get to know me or see how much I was trying to help her. All he saw was me being a bad influence on his daughter. He turned a blind eye to so many things.

[gala-apples.livejournal.com]

everyone that makes you feel like that must die.

i can't believe someone would ever blame you for suicidal thoughts/ jesus motherfucking christ. what an asshole.

[swtjemz.livejournal.com]

*HUGGLES FRUITCHILD*

They shouldn't die but I don't mind if they stop making me feel like this.

I'm just tired of it all.

*snuggles*