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Feb. 22nd, 2006
Constipation, ewwww!
Feb. 22nd, 2006 09:45 amSadly, I must admit this. I am constipated.
:-P No. Not what you're thinking. Mentally, I feel constipated. Chock full of words, ideas, and lyrical rhymes that all make sense in my head but when I go to put it down on paper, it all disappears. Unable to stream out of my fingers and onto any sort of medium. Lost onto a blank slate of gray matter and my short-term memory.
Ever had that experience?
I wanted to talk about something philosophical. Somthing that made me pause and truly consider the its worth in research. Then when I sit down to pursue it, it's gone. Ephemereal as mist. Incredibly frustrating but also a relief of sorts. Sometimes I just want to pour it all out, it comes out emo and whiny or sad and cryptic. Then the words escape me as my mood changes.
I know it existed in my mind and that it was sucked deep into the oblivion of my subconsciousness.
But they lurk and come out whenever I am depressed or sad or bursting into random bouts of tears, to compound or reiterate my feelings back to me. Things I never knew that I felt or I had thought wouldn't feel again for a long, long time. I want to release it all but they stay out of my reach, no matter how much I try to push them out my head.
bleh. Even now, I find it hard to splurge out the appropriate words. Sometimes, I wish I had Z's talent for writing. (Whose writing style I personally squee over, not because he's a great friend nor a great writer nor someone whom I envy for quitting his job to backpack and languish away all over the world nor someone who just recently made me jealous over his fantastic and fun trip to Antartica and is currently in Buenos Aires nor someone who got to stay in beautiful wine country and try all those delicious South American wines, but as someone whom I admire very much. Wow, I do I have a love for run-on sentences you know.) I envy it but I know that I am eloquent in my own way. And yes, I can do it without squeeing or writing "huggles" every ten seconds. No matter how big of an urge I get.
This blurb is most likely brought on by the same strange urge to cry at the oddest times of the day. I'm happy with life, for the most part. Things are going well. But yet, I seem to have developed this amazing skill of crying at the drop of a hat. Tears will come for all of 2 minutes and dissapate. Strange but I think I know why it happens.
Now onto happier thoughts. Like Il Divo. I'll be flying down on Friday night to see them in LA! So excited! ^_____________^ And penguins. I have an overwhelming urge to watch March of the Penguins again.
But enough of my random rambling. I hope everyone has a wonderful Hump Day!!!! *humps* *sings My Humps by BEP*
x.X Now I have an overwhelming urge to play WoW. And I love my icon. So perfect for the entry.
:-P No. Not what you're thinking. Mentally, I feel constipated. Chock full of words, ideas, and lyrical rhymes that all make sense in my head but when I go to put it down on paper, it all disappears. Unable to stream out of my fingers and onto any sort of medium. Lost onto a blank slate of gray matter and my short-term memory.
Ever had that experience?
I wanted to talk about something philosophical. Somthing that made me pause and truly consider the its worth in research. Then when I sit down to pursue it, it's gone. Ephemereal as mist. Incredibly frustrating but also a relief of sorts. Sometimes I just want to pour it all out, it comes out emo and whiny or sad and cryptic. Then the words escape me as my mood changes.
I know it existed in my mind and that it was sucked deep into the oblivion of my subconsciousness.
But they lurk and come out whenever I am depressed or sad or bursting into random bouts of tears, to compound or reiterate my feelings back to me. Things I never knew that I felt or I had thought wouldn't feel again for a long, long time. I want to release it all but they stay out of my reach, no matter how much I try to push them out my head.
bleh. Even now, I find it hard to splurge out the appropriate words. Sometimes, I wish I had Z's talent for writing. (Whose writing style I personally squee over, not because he's a great friend nor a great writer nor someone whom I envy for quitting his job to backpack and languish away all over the world nor someone who just recently made me jealous over his fantastic and fun trip to Antartica and is currently in Buenos Aires nor someone who got to stay in beautiful wine country and try all those delicious South American wines, but as someone whom I admire very much. Wow, I do I have a love for run-on sentences you know.) I envy it but I know that I am eloquent in my own way. And yes, I can do it without squeeing or writing "huggles" every ten seconds. No matter how big of an urge I get.
This blurb is most likely brought on by the same strange urge to cry at the oddest times of the day. I'm happy with life, for the most part. Things are going well. But yet, I seem to have developed this amazing skill of crying at the drop of a hat. Tears will come for all of 2 minutes and dissapate. Strange but I think I know why it happens.
Now onto happier thoughts. Like Il Divo. I'll be flying down on Friday night to see them in LA! So excited! ^_____________^ And penguins. I have an overwhelming urge to watch March of the Penguins again.
But enough of my random rambling. I hope everyone has a wonderful Hump Day!!!! *humps* *sings My Humps by BEP*
x.X Now I have an overwhelming urge to play WoW. And I love my icon. So perfect for the entry.
