(no subject)

i'm going to try to update at least once a day....even for a brief moment. i have too much in my head that's swirling around chaotically to even contemplate NOT putting them down into words. otherwise, they'll just got lost in the oblivion that's called forgetfulness. heh...

i've got a busy day ahead of me today. going to pamper myself with a facial and then off to a housewarming i go. after that, i have no clue what my friends are doing and where they're taking me but i hope it's relaxing.

i was thinking when i woke up this morning...(yes, i know. it's unusual for me to have such deep thoughts in the morning! i wish i was thinking of just sleep!). am i afraid to take the first step towards a relationship? what makes me feel like i am wanted to be the other half of a relationship? or does it come to nookie and companionship. is there more? am i still looking for love or am i able to settle for something that is not that brilliant flare of "i'm madly in love with you"? am i going through a frigid spell of indecisiveness and insecurity?

then i shook my head to clear out the cobwebs and put those questions in the back of mind so i can ponder them another time. i get the feeling that they are questions that are not easily answered. ah well......it's time for some coffee or tea.